Over the past few weeks I have watched as friends have said their final goodbyes to their mothers. I have watched so much love and support being given to them on their Facebook pages as they inform all of us of their loss. We watch over weeks as they make attempts to claw their way back to some sort of normalcy and at times find it difficult. It hurts my heart and soul to know exactly what they are going through.
I lost my mom back in August of 2011. I had the summer to prepare for it (if that's even possible), to prepare for joining the ranks of friends and family members who are orphans. It seems silly to call ourselves an orphan because that is typically a label used for children living in orphanages in the 1920's or 30's right? Nope, those of us who no longer have a living parent are...orphans. We no longer have a parent...orphan. No one who calls you when you are busy...no one to buy you silly presents that you don't need or want...no one to call you in the middle of the night because they need to go to the hospital...no one to have mothers or fathers day brunch with...no one to send you a "Happy Birthday Daughter" card...no one to believe in you like no one has ever believed in you...no one to make you laugh because they say the most ridiculous things...no one to hold you when you just want your mom...no one to send you bothersome forwards about how horrible Obama is and that Muslims are taking over the world...no one to talk about the Bears and complain about Cubs pitching with...no one to say to you, "I just love to hear you sing honey...". No one like...a parent.
So, why am I writing about this now? I don't know...I think in watching my friends lose their moms it has brought back the realization of how quickly it all goes by and we are all, many of us, in the same boat. We are now exactly where are parents were just a few short years ago when they lost their parents, our grandparents. I don't know if I realized just how difficult it may have been for my parents to go through that. After all, they had buried a son before they buried a parent.
After they are gone, we have the job of dealing with their things. Family treasures, photographs, their house, stuff we left at their house because we thought we would never want it only to find that we're so happy they hung onto it for us. Things we will pass down to our children and hope that it means as much to them as it does to us. I have a lot of my parents things. I wonder at times how much longer I can hold onto these things but then I realize, I must hold onto them. They are all I have left of my parents. That and memories. My children and my grandchildren need to know them better and carry on the traditions and memories that have always been a part of who we are. To deny themselves these things is denying who they came from. For me, its an even greater responsibility.
So dear friends, we are in yet another stage of our lives and we need to be there for each other in a way we may not have been before. Hold each other up, cry and laugh and know that if needed, we will be there. Just like our parents would, with patience and understanding and unconditional love. Most of all, unconditional love.
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