Normal everyday curiosity...

I was just given the best giggle I've had in a long time. Walking back home from a couple hours of focusing and writing at, yes...Starbucks, I found myself walking behind what appeared to be a five year old girl, her mother or nanny and a little boy around...maybe two. I could hear lots of questions being raised by the little girl and the woman answering her patiently as we all continued our jaunt. She was asking about stores, about the Swedish Museum we had just passed, about the cars and things on the sidewalk etc. I was drawn to this, mostly because I raised two little girls and a little boy who were always full of questions and observations and also because it just made me happy to see and hear such loveliness. A nice reminder of days gone by.

We had just passed a few bars with people standing outside smoking, she said nothing, just walked and then we came upon the clothing store that has the two headless male mannequins out on the sidewalk. These mannequins are clothed only in men's bikini underwear and mesh shirts so you can see that one of the mannequins is sporting washboard abs. That particular mannequin was enhanced a bit in the nether region, if you know what I mean...SO, as the mother/nanny walks a few steps ahead, I watch as the little girl pulls down the front of the well endowed mannequins underwear to check out his goods! I laughed out loud! She then proceeds to put her hand down the front of his underwear to feel his "package." She gets a good feel and then pulls the underwear back up only to give him another good squeeze on the outside of his underwear. By this time, she should have heard me cracking up! She then walks straight over to the next mannequin and as she passes him, gives his crotch a little squeeze - I guess to compare packages, and kept on walking. The mother/nanny unfortunately didn't get to see any of the groping that she had submitted to the poor mannequin, but I got to and it made me laugh and smile and remind me that curiosity is a wonderful thing. I'm not saying - everyone go out and squeeze a crotch and blame it on curiosity - what I'm asking is, when do we lose our curiosity? When do we allow ourselves to not wonder as much as we used to or just challenge ourselves to just go for it! When does that stop? I have no answer to that but she certainly, in a strange sort of manner, has encouraged me to revisit that childlike curiosity and allow myself to be in those moments more...why not? I might surprise myself and others...and not because I've grabbed their crotch. If the mannequin had a head and a face, he would probably be smiling as much as I am...but for different reasons...: )

Girl Singer...

Last night we had the pleasure of attending the final cabaret performance of the Midwest Cabaret Conference Workshop at Davenports. Our dear friend Judy was a participant in this three day cabaret intensive workshop that culminated in this final performance for the fifteen participants. It was a great opportunity for those that have the desire to develop their performance skills in a cabaret setting and to work with cabaret and Broadway professionals, receiving feedback both great and brutally honest. Judy has really found a new path for herself in this genre. She looked so comfortable in this setting and has never sounded better! I'm so proud and happy for her and I can't wait to see where this takes her.
Judy was the first to perform in what turned out to be about an hour show. Some of the song choices for some of these singers was baffling and some were spot on, but as I sat there listening to the others (which at times was difficult) I kept asking myself, why am I not singing anymore? I have many friends, Judy included, who question the fact that I have not sung in many years. What is my deal anyway? It's hard for me to explain, honestly.
The other day, I was going through a bunch of old cassette tapes that I had found,  many of them unmarked. What I found were some gems! In the bunch were tapes my mother had made of me singing at weddings, or of shows that I had been in where she sat in the audience with a tape recording in her lap. That was my mom! She was incredibly proud of everything I did and wanted to preserve my performances and my singing for her to listen to in the future, which she did. Two of the tapes were rehearsal tapes that I recorded during vocal rehearsals for Dear World and for Penny Serenade and a couple other shows. I would record my part, as many performers now do on digital recorders, so I could rehearse with them at home or in the car. As I pushed play on the boom box I was allowed to hear not only myself but to hear my two mentors, Steven Billig and Etel Billig banter back and forth and tease each other and me during rehearsal. Etel was in the office when Jon wanted to begin working on another song, so hearing Jon yell for Etel brought back so many moments that occurred during my years at the theater. I sat and listened to myself as I teased back with them, as I sang with them and as we all laughed together. It dawned on me...I was happy then. You could hear it in my voice. I was happy. Those people, that moment, those years, that time, the various shows...made me so happy. Don't get me wrong - it's not that I wasn't a happy person in general, I was...for the most part. Anyone that truly knows me, knows that my greatest and most rewarding accomplishment is and always will be my children, the ones I birthed AND the ones I raised. But hearing those tapes reminded me that I am missing a big part of who I am. I can't really say that it was this thing or that thing that caused me to "lose my voice," but it has been a choice. Hearing those tapes and watching my dear friend so happy has made me think...I need to revisit this part of my life and see where the journey takes me. Baby steps but steps do indeed need to be taken.