I've lost my voice but not my dreams...

I've been super sick with whatever bronchial thing has been going around. I struggled with it about 3 weeks ago and even ended up going to the CVS Minute Clinic to get some antibiotics. I got so involved with and exhausted by the rehearsal process for Annie Jr. at O'Bannon Elementary that I think "it" saw the perfect opportunity to come back and come back it did. I've had a tough time breathing and I barely have a voice. Ugh, it has been so depressing.

I'm finished with the show and now I have more time on my hands to figure out what my next steps are. People have told me that they think it's going to happen for me when I won't be looking for it. I'm hoping they are right. I had a weird dream last night that the board at American Girl voted to bring back the theaters and many of us were hired back. It was such a real and yet terribly weird dream. I remember waking up thinking that it had actually happened. While I would LOVE for something like that to occur, it would most certainly not be the same kind of experience no matter how hard we tried. I loved my job during those years - that kind of job only comes along once in your life. It is going to be hard to find anything that measures up to that experience. But, dreams are dreams and I need to remember that I have new dreams to make.

but for now...I just want some ice cream.

Day of Reflection...

So today seemed to be a day that made us think of our parents quite a bit. We're not sure why but as we were driving along, something would spark a memory and one or both of us would suddenly find out eyes welling up with tears. We're both struggling emotionally and have been for some time. I keep wondering when we will get past this - if ever. Sally was crying because she was hell bent on getting the kitchen dishes cleaned up from the cooking extravaganza from yesterday. All the cleaning of the kitchen reminded her of her mother and the standards her mother instilled in her to get the dishes washed and the kitchen cleaned as soon as possible. It made her miss her mom. She kept thinking how happy her mom would be to know that she has friends who love her and a home she loves and family who adore and love her. It was so important to her that her mom got that. I hope, for Sally's sake that she did.
By the way - dinner was wonderful, the conversation was fun and the company was just lovely. How wonderful to have such dear friends that are willing to leave their comfort zone and come up to the city and spend an evening together. We are lucky people indeed. OH, also I made, for the first time, chocolate crepes with raspberry sauce! Here's the fun part - I put the raspberries in the blender, as directed on the recipe and proceeded to puree them. The instructions were to then pour them in the bowl that contained the corn starch and sugar and mix. As I began to pour, it dribbled off the side of the container and onto the side of the counter. Oops! So, I took it back over to the blender to see if I had loosened the bottom of the blender and that was why it was leaking. Instead what I did was to detach the bottom from the glass container and the raspberry sauce spilled all over the counter! It looked like someone had committed a murder on my kitchen counter! Good thing Susan and Sally was there to salvage what we could of the raspberry sauce - but what a mess it made! It didn't deter me from moving forward with this dessert - so onto the crepes I went, timidly, but determined! I'm so glad I did because they were delicious AND crepes were not as difficult to make as I feared.
Anyway, I digress. I couldn't help today to think about get togethers that my parents might have had with friends. I have little memory of visitors in our home - it was mostly relatives. We enjoy entertaining, I wonder if my parents did.

forever friends...

I'm cleaning the apartment today to prepare for our friends Ken and Susan Bobos coming over for dinner. I'm cooking my new speciality - the chicken and pasta with sun-dried tomatoes - brussel sprouts - mozzarella and tomato and basil on skewers - zucchini parmesan bites - and then I'm going to attempt chocolate crepes with raspberry sauce - what???? It should be a lovely evening, its been a while since they've been up here. Ken's mother passed away last week so I think he needs a diversion. I ended up not being able to go to the wake and funeral because of my sickies. I was out of commission for a while.
Preparing for their arrival is a reminder of how many years we have been friends. I've known Susan since 1981 when we were in a production of Brigadoon together at Main Square park in Highland, IN. I've known Ken since high school and I had a huge crush on him. He ended up marrying my church friend Nancy - but as fate would have it, he eventually ended up with my dear friend Susan after his divorce. She had been divorced for many years. We went through a time period of being separated for whatever reasons but that doesn't matter anymore. We are life-long friends and will always have each others back - no matter what. They are a special couple and no matter how many weeks pass that we aren't in touch, we pick up our conversations as if we just talked an hour ago. They love us and accept us and want to spend time with us. No judgement. You can't ask for better friends than that. I love them both dearly and I'm looking forward to a lively evening of laughter, discussions about people who piss us off and much, much love. Now...back to vacuuming and dusting...