Crazy!

Why is it all the crazy's in Chicago seem to find me and sit next to me? Is there a sign on me somewhere that waves at them as they enter where I am that says, "hey crazy - yes, you - over here! Sit down!" There must be, because they find me every single time. 

Today as I was sitting in the Andersonville Starbucks hoping to get some work done for the show I'm directing - here comes one! Yep, and she plopped herself down right next to me. I knew it the minute she walked in. She never bought anything - they never do. Why do the Starbucks employees let them get away with that...(is that heartless? It is isn't it?) I guess I wouldn't mind it so much if she hadn't smelled of sour milk and if she hadn't been talking gibberish to herself and if she hadn't been gesturing at something or someone the entire time...okay, I minded it. The smell was really gross. I know she couldn't help it - or could she? What happens to people to make them this way? Did she do a lot of drugs and her brain is fried? Does she have an alcohol problem? Who knows - but here she sat. There seems to be a lot more of them in the neighborhood. I'm thinking that maybe someone is busing them in and dropping them off and then picking them all up later. Just to mess with us. 

Then, I have to think - oh for the grace of God go I. The fear of becoming homeless is real in todays world. I think it's a fear that everyone has at some time or another. People fall on hard times and something causes them to have to make the choice to live this way. I'm so fortunate that my Megan just bought a big beautiful house with her boyfriend Chris - because if this happens to me, I'm moving in. According to my mother they have this house so I'll have somewhere to live when I get old. I'm sure Mr. Hayes loved hearing that!

But, maybe this woman lost her job...in theater...at a retail store...that she worked at for ten years...crap, I'm doomed. I'm going to go take a shower.

Annoying!

Oh my Lord! Could today have been more annoying? I had goals today - goals to get some stuff done around the house, since I am unemployed as we all know. Cleaning, vacuuming, dusting. I have grand plans to start cleaning closets and the office and to redo the bedroom. Whew - lofty plans, I know. THEN - the phone rings and it's my mothers physical therapist calling to talk to me about whether or not I give my permission for my mother to have one of those motorized chairs. You know, one of those chairs you see old people in at Disney World because they are too fat to walk around the Disney parks. Which in another thing that truly annoys me! So, now they want my permission for my mother to become one of those people. Okay - I get it. Her legs aren't working right - she wants to go outside but can't because she can't walk very far with her walker - she wants to walk the neighborhood with her friend Joanne (who has two good legs mind you) and she wants to be able to go to the crappy Dominicks at the corner of Foster and Sheridan (I don't know why anyone with a brain would go in there, but hey who am I). 

So - we talk about my reservations with her having this chair - which are that I am nervous that she won't get ANY exercise at all because she'll find every excuse to not walk anymore - and she'll go out by herself into a neighborhood that while it isn't bad, isn't that good either...IT'S THE CITY FOR GOD'S SAKE! We hang up but then she calls me back because mother just had one of her choking spells and scared the crap out of the therapist! WHAT? The therapist was scared by my mother? What kind of freakin therapist is scared by an old woman choking? So she frantically talks to me about my mother needing to have someone check in on her - that we should utilize the wellness center next door to the building mom lives in - $8.00 for 15 minutes for someone to check in on my mother a couple of times a day didn't seem bad to me...so I called them and set it up. I can't take this drama anymore! I call - I talk to a very nice woman. We set it up. Mother will be visited each day - twice a day - 15 minutes each time. Will she have a dramatic coughing spell during each 15 minute visit - SHE BETTER! We're not paying $16.00 a day for nothin lady! I called mother - told her what is going to happen and she of course, balked at it.

"That's $16.00 a day"

"yes, I know - and you're paying for it"

"Medicare won't pay for it"

"I know - you are until this clears up"

"There's no guarantee I"ll have a coughing fit when they are here."

"you're right - but at least they can check in on you and listen to your chest or something. They are going to bill me and I'll pay for them out of your account."

"I can write the checks"

"yes, I know - but I'm going to write the checks."

"but I don't want this forever, it will get expensive"

"your other choice is that I call the Dr. and you go live somewhere where someone checks on you all the time"

"well I'm not going to do that."

"then we're going to do this for a while until this is all cleared out and you aren't scaring your therapist with your coughing / choking spells. She was scared mom"

"I know she was scared"

"I'll call you later."

Oh - and her phone and internet doesn't work either.

You know, if I was at work - I couldn't have these extensive conversations with my mother. I couldn't be creating stories that my girls and I will talk and laugh about at Christmas, but I am having these conversations with my mother - because I'm unemployed and available.

I love her - but God this is annoying...

Exhausting!

When the time comes for you to be unemployed, you dream about all of the things that you want to accomplish that you didn't have time for when you were working. 

Remember when you were so stressed out with the daily grind that all you could hope for was a really long vacation so that you could recover from the stress and then come back to work refocused and refreshed? Yeah, well - after about two weeks of being unemployed, you realize that you haven't done ANY of those things that you said you were going to and you excuse it away by saying things like..."well, I need time to get over losing my job. Once I get past the emotional part of this, THEN I'll start all of those things." 

"I have time now - so I'll do a little bit at a time."

"My mother has been sick and I got sick so now I have to recover from being sick - then I can do that stuff I said I would...do."

I'm exhausted just reading all that crap. Making all of those excuses is exhausting. Sleeping in is getting exhausting. Checking Facebook every hour is exhausting because all of your friends know you are home so they are challenging you to Word Twist and Scramble more often. It's exhausting keeping up with all those challenges. 

Okay, I'm exhausted now by this blog. See, being unemployed is exhausting. I cannot WAIT to see what tomorrow brings.